You know what it’s like — you’re in a room, surrounded by all these people who are smiling, and chatting, and seem happy to be there (WTF?).

And…there they are. The one person who really shines. The Butterfly.

How dare they float around, from group to group with no problem or hesitation?

They seem to make every conversation they are a part of more fun, more animated, more exciting. Everyone’s delighted to see them and pull them in for more! More! More!

I would stare at these people and think, “Hmm. How can I take them down?”

And then I thought, “I could never be like that.”

And then I thought, “How do they do that?”

It was 2018 and I was in hell.

Hell in this case was a networking room filled with 99 other people…who were all competing against me and each other for a places on a prestigious talent scheme.

It’s the stuff a sadistic lunatic’s dreams are made of.

I had been here before — the exact same mixer the previous year. But I failed that time. I didn’t make it onto the scheme. I was also at least 20 years older than 98 of those people. So here I was, still the socially awkward previous reject trying yet again to get people to understand that I deserved this scheme.

Here’s what happened, and how it can help you with Impostor Syndrome.